In case you hadn't guessed, I'm a dance degree student. A third year dance degree student. Now, I've counted and checked several times just to make sure I haven't accidentally skipped a year, but I'm pretty certain there's only three years that make up your average dance degree programme. So you've guessed it, I have one final chance to achieve all aims and goals (and of course grades) in just one year. Well, minus the holidays, approximately eight months. Eek?!

I spent a while pondering on the matter of the title for this blog/panic fest. Initially I thought it appropriate to use 'Now for the hard(est) bit', relating to upping the ante during higher level technique classes, dissertations pouring out of my ears, and so on. And then it hit me. A realisation, the same realisation I continue to realise on a regular basis that never fails to shock me ever so slightly. University doesn't last forever, which means neither does the bubble you've settled into so comfortably. No more routine tutorials to asses how you're doing, no more scribbles and numbers over essay cover sheets to assess how you're intellect is doing, no more choreographic assessments to check (and encourage) how you're crazy side is doing, and possibly no more man handling during 9.30am class time to assess how you're inner thighs are doing.

This may well be the easy bit. What's daunting is shedding your student 'still learning' status and using what you've gained to step into the big bad world. No more spoon feeding and no more mollycoddling, neither of which I can picture any of my lecturers literally doing, however. But is it really so bad? I don't know about anybody else, but all this prepping throughout GCSE, A Level, degree, even my gap year, has only taught me why I went through it all in the first place; I enjoy it of course! The world of contemporary dance is forever changing and forever exciting and I can't wait to carve out my own dent into it. I guess the scary part is the 'if' and 'how'.

I suppose I'm not one to talk having experienced an additional first year at a previous institution, only to change my mind, take a gap year, and start over in London... but when did time decide to fly faster each coming year?! I of all people should be ready, and I think I am, it's just going to undoubtedly cost my fingernails. I can just imagine the pang of jealously whilst watching the first years take their first Graham class, urging them to relish in the comfort that they still have plenty of time before the 'what am I going to do with my life' crisis sets in. But, (thank goodness there's a but!) aside from the jealously, there will be relief. Reflecting on the vast amount I've learnt and the richness of it all makes me feel an even bigger pang of gratitude that I know what I know. And what's more, is that I'm safe in the knowledge that I will continue to learn, as contemporary dance has one hell of a reputation of never sitting still, but incessantly fidgets... or evolves to best describe.

The only thing to focus on now is how's best to prepare myself for the next chapter (the 'only' thing, pfft!) Yes, it's hard to not be quaking in my boots and believe that I have less than a year to do this, but it's do-able. I have an academic year to make the most of, and make the most of it I will! The thing I most value, and would advise anyone else to do so, is the priceless lessons my lecturers teach me. I'm particularly fortunate to have been, and of course, continue to be taught by some prestigious artists. They know what they're talking about and talk about it for a reason. By using everything these (in my opinion) contemporary dance wizards, and the whole experience my final degree year has to offer, I should (hopefully) be able to continue to teach myself while treading the boards of the dance world inspired to contribute to it just like they have.

The master plan? Luckily I've already started it. Seizing every opportunity is a must. Experience, internships, extra classes (why not, at the risk of killing myself), annoying the tutors with constant tutorials, annoying the world with my weird yet (I can only hope) wonderful choreography, and annoying my eyes with dance work after dance work, research after research, and book after article after book after article after... (best ensure I rinse the library for all it's dance reading worth before my membership expires).

Time to panic? Maybe not. So long as I continue in my pro active state, I'll be ready to embrace the contemporary dance world by myself. There'll always be a missing piece of the contemporary dance puzzle, and the thought that one of those uniquely shaped pieces could bear my name is enough to lift the soul; something I always experience when I watch a piece of dance. Sigh...

So to sum up, rather than timidly creeping through my final year jumping at loud noises, I think it's far more appealing to lick the bowl clean and make the most of it while I still can. Wish me luck!